Cul-de-Sac Conundrum…

By October 15, 2012Green is GOOD...

Over the weekend my “bestie” and I hosted a neighborhood block party. To our surprise, it was a tremendous turnout and of such community spirit, we can’t wait to have another one. Why is it that we are surround by so many special people of so much depth and breath to life, that we rarely take the time to extend ourselves? My “T” is one of those women whom you can’t help but to soak up her non-stop energy, get drunk in her creative juices, and melt into her mushy heart. She is my true definition of the Midwest and the truth behind the saying “home is where your heart is”. “T” is that person who shows her soul with the world, shares your tears and your smiles, sprinkles her love for life onto everything she touches, expresses gratitude in ways that make tears fall from your eyes, and gets excited about those “little things” that the bulk of my address book is too bored to swallow. Trust me, being a transplant from the Midwest is challenging enough because people aren’t sure how to register your way of the world. However, having a partner in crime to capture the essence of a city built on entertainment and relish in its often silly attitude, is priceless. Just like my family, she keeps me grounded and my soul fed. The world can be a cruel place if there’s not a filter surrounding you, reminding you of its beauty and to lift you up–especially if submerged in an industry surrounded by a lot of “noise”. My wish for everyone is to have a friend to aid as ear muffs, to keep you full of love and light, and without judgement like my “T”.

Now for the “NA-NU, NA-NU” and serendipitous story tale of how our adult lives merged. Apparently our friendship dates back to decades past, where my father and “T’s” father conducted business and we were the wee ones tugging on our fathers’ shirt tails in the office. “T’s” father has been my father’s accountant for the past 25 plus years in Indiana so we found out. Years ago tax time, our fathers put two and two together, their daughters had dually migrated Hoosier blood to So Cal and were “Valley Girls” at that. The conversation grew deeper and deeper and more bazaar coincidences surfaced. The DING-DING DING moment was my father asking her father “Is your daughter a stunt woman by chance?” and her father asking my father ” Is your daughter in public relations and fashion?”… “Yes”….”Yes” they both said. Our fathers had determined we were literally next door neighbors, though “T” and I had already formed the most fabulous of friendship without even knowing our history. WEIRD, right? That was no accident. What is the likelihood of two friends stuck like glue who move into the same cul-de-sac, whose husbands play basketball together 3x a week (sidebar: we swear they hold hands on the way to the gym), friends all get along like peas and carrots, and love one another like family, to meet later in life and of such a “Butterfly Effect”? To have happenstance such as this and to have our friendship and families linked as we are, there is no doubt in my mind that things absolutely happen for a reason. I’m a believer!!! Happenstance makes for many heartstrings and we are far more connected than we are able to even wrap our heads around. Life IS beautiful like that. Amazeballs actually…

This year we lost a mutual dear friend to a job in the South. She’s what we used to call the new school version of yesteryear’s “Welcome Wagon”. Every time a resident had big news, needed help, or cause for a celebration, “R” was the one-stop shop for spreading the word and making things happen. From Christmas Caroling, welcoming new neighbors, Neighborhood Watch, or congratulating new births, “T” and I have had some monstrous shoes to fill to say the least. There’s no way we can be what “R” was to this community, but we attempted a spin-off version of her. A block party isn’t a block party without a neighborhood’s help, period. This past Sunday, we saw all sorts of new neighbors in the mix and realized community comes down to connecting the dots. People will make time if you help with the push. There were married couples, singles, elderly, moms, dads, single parents, and kids who hung out for four hours plus. We rocked out to a 70’s cover band, bounce house, free-flowing booze, and feasted on the most amazing pot luck spread I’ve ever seen. Gourmet a GO-GO!

Our neighbors went ALL OUT and so did my “T” with her “Witches Brew” and Halloween set up. Seeing as she has two kids under the age of two at home and had just come back from an art fair the day before where she was selling her homemade soy candles, “T” really is one of those mom’s who can DO IT ALL and DOES. Full of color and a modern-day version of Rainbow Brite, there wasn’t anything she hadn’t thought of. Most people would’ve fallen apart if their co-host had come down with a 24 hour bug the day of an event. Not my “T”…she blazed through the fire of making sure everything was on point and filled in the blanks as if she’d written the script ahead of time. I on the other hand, could barely get my Buffalo Chicken sliders out for showtime. Perrier was my salvation and so was my “T”. The hubby was pretty great, too. A bit of a knight in not so shiny armor, but rather Puma sweats I might say…he definitely got a dose of “Sister Wives” that day. Lots of requests from multiple women and a longer “Honey DO” list than usual.

In this life and as we add candles to the cake, it is times like these where you realize the importance of sitting back, putting your feet up, marinating your friendships, and taking the initiative to go out of your way to integrate your community. So much can be celebrated and learned from those around you. Friendship circles can grow bigger, BBQs can become more fun, and to your surprise you just may stumble into a new friend of commonality or shared street name. So today I salute my fellow Midwesterner, friends, family, and business partner who share these same values. I love my cul-de-sac, even though I always swore the suburbs would be the death of me back in the day. It’s funny how the years have frayed that viewpoint. Friendships grow where there is life and we all are very much alive. Open your doors, open your hearts, and take a chance on your community. Happy accidents to all and may you bounce in similar blessings…

Join the discussion 5 Comments

  • Cheryl Stabler says:

    Yes, Midwest transplants are very special. Keep your T treasure close by! Hugs, Cher bear

  • I will print, frame, and forever worship this beautiful love tribute just as I do our destined friendship. Every sentiment is 100% mutual and sprinkled in amethyst glitter. So much love, so little time…Chris, our Knight in Shining Armour=hubby award! There is nothing we can’t do together…putting on an 80’s love song now…

  • Danny says:

    I feel blessed beyond words to be able to agree with every letter, of this love letter to ‘T’, based on personal experience. I have witnessed the mirror like image of love and support that the awesomeness of ‘S’ is clearly and thankfully guilty of and consider it beyond a privilege to know each. I’m bummed I wasn’t able to enjoy these precious moments but look forward to future moments that, as they often do, will end up highlighting my day, week, year and life. Woooooohoooooooooo!!!

  • Rossina says:

    As Conner calls it, I have “happy tears.” Thank you, dear Stacey. Here is another “NA-NU, NA-NU” moment (i.e. my opening words match your photo)…I JUST sent this on the same day as your post as a follow-up to the participants of last week’s workshop:

    Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes we condemn what happened while it is happening or in the near aftermath. Feel and think the healthy emotions and thoughts to propel you towards maintained or improved well-being. Those are the results you’re after. Just DO it…don’t offer excuses for delays…anyone can do that, whereas leaders act. I offer you this story:

    This is the story of the farmer whose only horse ran away: On that evening the neighbors gathered to sympathize with him, for surely this was such bad luck. “Now your farm will suffer and you will not be able to plow,” the neighbors warned the farmer. “Such a terrible thing to have happened to you,” they said.

    Maybe yes – maybe no

    The next day the horse returned and brought him six wild horses, and the neighbors came to congratulate him and celebrate his good fortune. “Now you are richer than before,” they said. “Surely now this has turned out to be such a very good thing, for you, after all.”

    The farmer said, “maybe yes, maybe no.”

    The following day, the son saddled and rode one of the wild horses. He was thrown off the horse and broke his leg. Now the son could not work on the farm. Again the neighbors came to offer their sympathy for such an inconvenient truth. They noted that there was more work than the farmer could handle and surely now he would become poor. Such bad luck, indeed.

    The farmer said, “maybe yes, maybe no.”

    The day after that, conscription officers came to the village to take all the young men for the army, but because of his broken leg, the farmer’s son was disallowed. When the neighbors arrived again, they said how very fortunate the farmer was, as things had worked out after all. Knowing well that most young men never return from the war alive, this was the best fortune yet.

    And the old farmer said, “maybe yes, maybe no.”

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